the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
