I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
