I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
this hospital has no fireball
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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