so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
