Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
These tits shall not be calmed
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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