What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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