put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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