with your own penis?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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