i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
