and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i used baking grease as lip gloss
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
