There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
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I've ID'd the nipple biter.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
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I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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