also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
