u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
