dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
