Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
