I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
