Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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