So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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