She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
