i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
