Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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