i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
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so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
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I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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