I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize