turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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