i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
