Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
