I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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