I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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