yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
