it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize