Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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