im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
