I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize