And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
