totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
