after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
