Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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