Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
