Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize