Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
