..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
