I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
