After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
