Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
