Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
