sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
