ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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