just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My brain says no but my pants say off.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm