can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
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I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity