wake up i wanna do it froggy style
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
