my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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