Duck Duck Cougar?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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