Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
