I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
