im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
