1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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