I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
