btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
