just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize