Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
