O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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