Swine flu. Run for my life!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
